Stupid laws

Here are some of the stupidest laws I could find XD

Alabama

-Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

-It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.

-You must have windshield wipers on your car.

-You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

-It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.

-Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

-It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

-It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

-Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

-It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

-Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

-Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

-It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

Alaska

-Moose may not be viewed from an airplane

-While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

-It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

City laws

-No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.

-For all you would-be pranksters out there, it is illegal to string a wire across any road.

-Persons may not live in a trailer as it is being hauled across the city.

-It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

-A person may only carry a concealed slingshot if that person has received the appropriate license.

Arizona

-Hunting camels is prohibited.

-Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.

-There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.

-Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

-A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”.

-It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.

-When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

-It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

Arkansas

-It’s strictly prohibited to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly

-The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.

-A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

-A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

-Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.

City Laws

-It is illegal to kill “any living creature”.

-Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.

-Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

-It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

California

-Film producers must have permission from a pediatrician before filming a child under the age of one month

-It’s unlawful to let a dog pursue a bear or bobcat at any time.

-In San Jose and Sunnyvale it is illegal for grocery stores to provide plastic bags.

-You may only throw a frisbee at the beach in Los Angeles County, CA with the lifeguard’s permission.

-Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

-It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

-Women may not drive in a house coat.

-No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

-Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

-Bathhouses are against the law.

Colorado

-One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.

-Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.

-No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. Repealed 2008: Colorado residents can now buy alcohol on Sundays

-It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

-Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.

-Marijuana is legal

City Laws

-Throwing missles at cars is illegal.

-To own a dog over three months of age, one must obtain a license.

-Establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them.

-It is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop.

-It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property.

-Boulders may not be rolled on city property.

-Couches may not be placed on outside porches.

-It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.

-It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.

-The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.

-It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

 

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and don’t forget, TWINKIES ARE COMPLEMENTARY!!!

 

Don’t bother trying to figure this out

Man A- “The next statement is false”

Man B- “The previous statement is true”

 

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Stupid laws

Here are some of the funniest laws I could find.

It is illegal to shoot lasers at police officers (Louisiana)

Dishes must drip dry (Mississippi)

It is illegal to get a fish drunk (Indiana)

A permit must be obtained to fire a missile (Alabama)

Chickens are not allowed to cross the road (Georgia)

Policemen are allowed to bite a dog if they think it will calm the dog down (Ohio)

It is illegal to sing out of key (North Carolina)

You must obtain a permit to alter the weather (Colorado)

It is illegal to possess more than $600 worth of salamanders (Illinois)

On time travel

Time travel is possible for the following reason

A__________________36s___________________B

7 mph

Moving between points A and B takes a certain amount of time, the amount of time mentioned above is 36 seconds. The faster you move the less time it takes to move between points A and B. (See below)

A___________________16s__________________B

10 mph

Therefore if you move fast enough it should be possible to reverse the positions of A and B and travel to B in a negative amount of time.

B__________________-3s____________________A

____mph

The speed needed to induce this process would have to be far faster than light as that can still take time to travel between stars.

If it was possible to do this then it would completely revolutionize transportation. It would mean no more being late for work or school. It could even help humans reach distant planets and have astronauts home in time for dinner.

_____________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading, if you liked this theory don’t forget to check out my theory on alternate dimensions, and aliens, multiple timelines, as well as my theory on the previous humanities that came before ours.

Multiple timelines: https://pscutler.wordpress.com/2016/02/21/theory-of-multiple-timelines/

Aliens: https://pscutler.wordpress.com/2016/02/21/why-aliens-really-do-exist/

Alternate realities: https://pscutler.wordpress.com/2016/02/27/on-multiple-dimentions/

Previous Humanities: https://pscutler.wordpress.com/2016/02/27/are-we-the-first-humanity/

_______________________________________________________________

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The world’s worst scientist

The following experiment was conducted in my science class.

A hot wheels car is rolled down a track using a bundle of washers hanging over the side of the table. The speed is then measured with different amounts of washers attached.

These are the following reasons why I was voted, “The World’s Worst Scientist.”

  1. When tying the washers around the car I tied a bow knot
  2. The bow knot came apart when someone picked it up
  3. We taped the string onto the car but the tape tore and it was blamed on me
  4. I forgot to reset the speedometer when we did a test
  5. I caught the washers before they hit the floor, therefore slowing the speed of the car
  6. I broke the string catching the car one time
  7. I was voted out of the group by someone who wasn’t even IN the group

 

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A new story

Hi guys, sorry I have’t been posting as often as I would like to be, I’m working on a new story and I would appreciate you guys’s feedback

Thanks 😀

 

Prologue

Things weren’t always this way, long ago, before waves even began to touch the very edges of civilization, there was peace. Humanity had reached the highest heights of technology, and were pushing to climb even higher. They had achieved interstellar transportation at the speed of light, could alter the genes of animals to give them specific traits, they could even revive the dead. But even this was not enough to save them from the coming apocalypse. Although scientists predicted it long ago, the oceans were rising, high tide was getting higher and soon there was no low tide, just the ocean rising up as if to greet the toes of cities, and to reclaim what it once ruled.

With all of the great strides in technology, the world was able to hold out for little more than a few days, and soon fell under the waves. However, before the inevitable end of the world, the leaders of the five great nations, China, Russia, Japan, Australia, and Canada, were able to created underwater colonies, this is where primary remainder of the human species lives now. The rest live on floating colonies drifting unpredictably along the new ocean’s currents.

In an effort to preserve the majority of land animals, scientists dropped massive amounts of all types of radioactive substances into the habitats of living creatures, although some species went extinct, this was relatively successful, creating the merpeople and sea cows. However, it also led to the creation of some larger more aggressive entities to haunt the now deeper ocean.

Five cities were originally created one for each nation and the rest of the smaller towns and provinces sprung from them, Aquarios, the capital, harvests most of the food, Oceanis, my home, creates and exports the most machines, Marina is the black market of the new world anything is fair game in Marina. Tsunamae creates clothing, and Atlantina generates most of the ores used by Oceana and Tsunamae. These five cities built the very ground we stand on today.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………. 

I woke up with a jolt, although everything in Oceanis was created to comfort and provide for the needs of it’s occupants, the mass wake up alarm blaring through the speaker implants in my ears was still startling. My bed folded up into the wall as I stepped off onto my deep soft rug, it didn’t come cheap, but it was one of the few luxuries I had managed to hold onto after my parents disappeared three years ago. I took a look into the cracked mirror as I washed my face and brushed my teeth, and then after a quick breakfast I was off to my day job.

Life was a constant struggle for the tens of thousands of people living in this cramped city, cubicle’s were sparse and few, so many were forced to live in the dirty streets, stricken with poverty. After passing various stores I arrived at the factory. George, my coworker walks up to me.

“Hey Tsunady, Y’know my mother’s mirror right?”

“Yea”

“It went missing”

“Sorry man, I haven’t seen it.” I say as I shrug my shoulders.

George walked off, I hated saying stuff like that to him, how I had no idea where his stuff was. I walked my own separate way passing the children’s section of the factory. Although child labor laws in Oceana were few and far between and seldom enforced, children were still kept away from the bigger more dangerous machines, and left to tinker and toy around with the less dangerous and less important machines. Children learned from a very young age that building machines and improving technology would be their life one day and learned how to assemble a sea glider at the ripe old age of seven.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened that day, aside from the fact that one older child, of the age of ten to twelve, mysteriously disappeared after saying he was going to fix a broken binary engine, even though the command tower saw nothing wrong with it. Minutes later there was a power surge in that area and it went dark. After the power came back on he was nowhere to be found.

This puzzled me, no one had disappeared in years, the last time it happened it turned out that the kidnapped child, Lucus, had just run away and was hiding in a kelp field down in the southern area of Oceanis. Upon returning home the child told his parents that he had managed to survive by enlisting the help of less aggressive sea creatures and living in a cave. However, he had returned home when he started hearing strange noises at night, he described them as rustlings, and soft moans in the dark.

This had sent him running home, and no one really mentioned it after that. I wasn’t one of those, watch the sky’s people who thought that there was some sort of monster running around eating people, but there had long been a theory that scientists of the past had released something into the ocean to control the population so that it never got out of hand.

Kidnapping rates had also lowered so much that they were near unheard of, but they still happened. Due to the implanting of trackers infinitesimally small into the hearts, and minds of all children, they were easily traceable and hard to lose, and that’s why scientists never figured out how Lucus had managed to escape the detection of all of the people searching for him.

On my way home I stopped by a dispenser to pick up what would be my dinner, and then it was off to my humble abode, humble meaning a tad bit cramped. After a quick change into lighter and less protective but more flexible clothing, I ate dinner and waited for the artificial sun to set. In the meantime I sat on my bed and cleaned my equipment, a ‘forget me not’ tranquilizer gun, strong enough to safely put a woman scorned into a deep, dreamless sleep. A grappling gun with a silencer, night vision goggles with a heat vision setting, a bag, and a metal detector.

As the fake sun set on the man-made horizon I set out on my night job,

As a thief.

 

Chapter 1

 

It wasn’t like I needed any of the things I stole, I had a solid job as well as enough money put away to last me several lifetimes.

But I did it anyway.

More for the thrills than anything else, almost getting caught but then slipping through the hands of the local enforcers, it was what kept me sane. It was an outlet for my energy, all of the tension, all of the expectations. Every night I would let it go and be the person I wanted to be.

I grabbed a pair of wires that were hooked up to a sea glider battery and carefully administered a minor electric shock to the security camera in my room, turning it off for a few seconds. In those short few moments I snatched up the picture of my room lying on the table and taped it up against the camera lens, it was very simple, but effective. I then snuck up to the top floor of my crowded living space and breathed in a whiff of sea air. Looking down I saw the night patrol round the corner of the building, giving me about a minute to rappel down the side of the building and head towards my destination.

I attached my grappling hook to the ledge on the side of the building, and then slid all the way down. With a flick of my wrist I dislodged the hook, wrapped it around my waist and scampered off to my destination.

My target tonight was the house of a wealthy man, the owner of the factory. Since it was private property it had no cameras and I thought that it would be an easy task to go in and relieve him of “useless” items of little consequence to him.

Quietly climbing over the back wall I saw a fountain a pool and an artificial river, as much water as we were surrounded by he still had the nerve to have water features in his yard!

 

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When the earth was swallowed by water

Things weren’t always this way, long ago, before waves even began to touch the very edges of civilization, there was peace. Humanity had reached the highest heights of technology, and were pushing to climb even higher. They had achieved interstellar transportation at the speed of light, could alter the genes of animals to give them specific traits, they could even revive the dead. But even this was not enough to save them from the coming apocalypse. Although scientists predicted it long ago, the oceans were rising, high tide was getting higher and soon there was no low tide, just the ocean rising up as if to greet the toes of cities, and to reclaim what it once ruled.

With all of the great strides in technology, the world was able to hold out for little more than a few days, and soon fell under the waves. However, before the inevitable end of the world, the leaders of the five great nations, China, Russia, Japan, Australia, and Canada, were able to created underwater colonies, this is where primary remainder of the human species lives now. The rest live on floating colonies drifting unpredictably along the new ocean’s currents.

In an effort to preserve the majority of land animals, scientists dropped massive amounts of all types of radioactive substances into the habitats of living creatures, although some species went extinct, this was relatively successful, creating the merpeople and sea cows. However, it also led to the creation of some larger more aggressive entities to haunt the now deeper ocean.

I’ve finally figured it out

I’ve finally figured it out

 

The law of the land

When you’re in a hurry everything will slow you down

But when you don’t want to go, you’re thrown in the fast lane

When you want to have a picnic it rains

But it’s always sunny when you’re sitting inside of a school building

The one day you study, the teacher has a sub and forgets to give the test

But the one day you don’t study, a surprise final pops up.

 

So I guess I’ll just study every day for no reason

or maybe I’ll just never hurry

 

 

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Addressing the term “air”

The I-pad air is a flatter i-pad created by having a fat guy sit on an i-pad mini. This caused the i-pad to become flatter and look like a normal i-pad from the top. However, taking a piece of metal and flattening it does not make it a metal air. It makes it a razor blade. If you flatten concrete it doesn’t become the concrete air, it becomes either dust or rubble. If you flatten a car it is called a wreck. And if you flatten a career it is called Miley Cirus.

 

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How to tell if you’re obsessed with video games

How to tell if you’re obsessed with video games

1) You wake up in the morning having no idea what you did last night but then you see that your progress in a game has gone up by 50%

2) You have gotten every single achievement in a game

3) You forgot to eat breakfast before work because you were trying to beat a level

4) You’re KD (Kills to deaths) ratio is 100/3

5) You’re first thought about the words “real life” are “Hmm… Never heard of that server, is it any good?”

6) You have discovered every single secret in the game and have every weapon and item

7) You know all of the lore, backstory, and fan-fiction of a game

8) You’re power goes out and the first thing you think is “Did I save my progress?!”

9) You have a computer purely for gaming

10) You know the complete history of the beginnings of video games to the present day but you’re still wondering who that guy on the dollar bill is

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